I had been dating my ex for a few months when I realized how unusual he actually was. He lived in his parents basement, and he had no private door to his room. Privacy was obviously not a concern for him, cause he was ready to go any time anywhere. Even when we could hear his grandma cooking dinner in the next room he wanted to have sex, and seemed even more turned on than usual. I always gave in cause I was very much in love. But the sex always got a bit freakier for every time we did it.
First he wanted me to call him Daddy, and then he wanted me to talk like a baby. And then he wanted us to fuck while watching a Harry Potter movie. I should have realized that it was time to break up at that point. But we kept it going. Then, one day, he asked me if he could try to fit a packet of lucky strike cigarettes inside my vajayjay. I politely said “not today,” got dressed and never returned. Between my friends and I we just refer to his new girlfriend as lucky strike-girl.
Submitted by: thethingsinever