I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRUE. Only names, dates and locations were changed to protect the fragile male ego.
After a few drinks my casual conversation with hot acquaintance took a sharp turn. I promised myself I would never go back down that road so quick, but he had quite a way with words…. that is if you consider “I’ll make sure you cum,” a way with words. With every Pickleback shot I took I sent an increasingly suggestive text. I went to bed giddy but woke up full of regret. What my drunk brain perceived as charming in the light of day was quite the opposite. The angle of his dick pics were questionable. And the “You love my penis,” text was neither endearing nor true. I didn’t even know it. Thanks to me his head grew 3 sizes that day. I had no choice but to delete all the drunk sexts and pretend they never happened.
After six months of heavy drinking, good friends and various hallalifonogens. I got over my ex. Of course that’s when he decided to text me. It didn’t help that I was just drunk enough to think that answering him was a good idea. After a few more beers I would of been too busy singing “Total Eclipse of The Heart “to reply. I wasn’t surprised when the friendly conversation quickly turned sexual. Or when he picked me up later that night and drove to our “spot” …that use to be romantic. We quickly moved to the back seat and he ripped off my clothes. I guess he thought that texting was enough foreplay because he just stuck it right in. One pump, two pumps, three pumps and he was done.
After a night of sexting I decided to re-read the conversation. ” CANTT WAIT TO RIP OFF ALL UR CLOTHES,” was the last text. I scrolled up for a while covering my mouth with shock every few seconds. Okay… we defiantly meant the things we said but there is just something wrong with… ” I WANA B INSIDE U MAD BAD.” Type out BE.. it’s so simple, it’s just one extra letter, half a second out of your life. If you do want to be inside me MAD bad check your grammar. I’m not your bro.. we are talking about sex. ” I WANNA FCK U” Oh really!? You want to FCK me. We are sexting I don’t need you to be Romeo.. just text like the literate grown up you are.