The People I Slept With.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRUE. Only names, dates and locations were changed to protect the fragile male ego.

Tag: sweat

WINNING

by ThePeopleISleptWith

We had been together for 4 months and for the first time in our relationship the sex lasted longer than two minutes. Although I was pleasantly surprised he was quite obviously annoyed. Sweat dripped off his forehead as he aggressively stabbed my insides with his penis. Not too long after he finished, looked at me and “I win.” ARE YOU ACTUALLY PROUD THAT YOU ARE UNABLE TO MAKE ME ORGASM? The first person to reach an orgasm doesn’t “win.” I don’t know if he was a moron or an asshole BUT I dated him for months and I lost every single time.

STICKY SEX

by ThePeopleISleptWith

Hot and sweaty sex is good but I don’t want to walk four blocks home looking like I just swam in the world’s most disgusting pool. Thanks to the lack of air conditioning and extremely intense sex I was drenched. As he hovered above me actual drops of sweat fell onto me.  A few minutes later as our sticky bodies rubbed together they made a “fart-like” sound. I started to laugh and he stopped abruptly. He looked me dead in the eyes and yelled “never, EVER laugh while having sex with me.” He yelled at me while he was still inside me.. SORRY but fart-like sounds are funny. He continued to hump me very aggressively, sweat dripping off his chin, with a look on his face like he hated me. I felt bad that I unintentionally hurt his ego until a droplet fell into my mouth.