After a few drinks our casual conversation took a sharp turn. I promised myself I would never go back down that road, but he had quite a way with words…. that is if you consider “I’ll make sure you cum,” a way with words. He officially caught my attention. With every Pickleback shot I took I sent an increasingly suggestive text. I went to bed giddy but woke up full of regret. What my drunk brain perceived as charming in the light of day was clearly cocky. “You love my penis,” – neither endearing nor true. Thanks to me his head grew 3 sizes that day. I had no choice but to delete all the drunk sexts and pretend they never happened.
At first I flirted and put on the moves, fluttering my eyelashes, playing with my hair, the usual bullshit ingrained in the female genome. But it soon became clear he was only interested in the sound of his own voice – he must have forgotten that he company. I became bored and miraculously he noticed – so mid-yawn, he suggests I take him home. I shrugged my shoulders and nodded. I was ready for bed, with or without company. The poor bastard decided to finally pay me attention, which I was happy to receive. He worked so hard to keep me interested, alas only for his penis to fail him at the most crucial moment. Small and soft, he shook his head in embarrassment. I rolled over, told him where the nearest train station was, and fell asleep.
My contacts were stuck to my eyes. I could feel his beer breath on the back of my neck. I had underwear and a wife beater on… but no bra. His hands moved slowly from my waist to my ass and it hit me… did I sleep with him? The night prior was a blur. It wasn’t until I saw the finished bottle of Jagermeister on the night stand, next to the White Castle bag, that I realized.. I probably did. Combining alcohol with heartbreak always seems like a good idea, until you end up in someone else’s bed. He sat up, afraid I hid most of my face underneath the covers, as if that would make him go away. I felt a warm kiss on my forehead then he left the room. I should of asked him what happened but I’m not sure I wanted to know. My eyes searched his room for any evidence.. nothing. I got dressed quickly and walked out of his room. Disheveled and disoriented I walked right into the living room where four of his friends were hanging out. After 10 of the most awkward seconds of my life he followed me to the door. ” I had fun,” he said but before he could lean in for a kiss I gave him a high-five. I guess I’ll never know.
When I opened my eyes his hand was firmly cupping my left boob.. under the shirt, over the bra. I turned onto my stomach freeing my breast. I couldn’t hold my pee any longer so I turned around and sat up…. There he was laying on his side, leaning on his arm starring at me. Our eyes met and he smiled. I attempted to smile back but I doubt it was convincing. I told him I needed to pee and go home. He sighed and said ” But you said you were off tomorrow. ” and damn it, I did say that. I told him I still had things to do and just needed to go home. He continued to question every aspect of my story. Truth is my story was bullshit… Obviously bullshit. Yeah, I am lying and you know… Let’s avoid the awkward banter and just let me go. Do you really want me to say the truth… “you’re creeping me out, why are you laying like that? Your apartment is too hot, your bed in uncomfortable, it smells funny in here and you are cuddle groping me.” I’m just trying to be polite. When I walked out he told me he would call me later… another polite lie.
He lived in a frat house that I use to party at occasionally. Although we were just friends our drunken nights usually ended with a sloppy make-out session. I never thought much of it until one night. I had way too much to drink and my friends were still raging so he suggested I take a nap on his bed. I passed out only seconds after my head touched the pillow. Around 5 hours later, awake but too hungover to move, I heard the door open. Before I could sit up he walked in front of me and started to undress. To avoid an awkward situation I pretended to be asleep. He told me earlier he would wake me up eventually but instead he got into bed… naked. As I laid there on my stomach waiting for the right moment to escape I felt something taping on my butt like a drumstick… his penis. I really hope he was just that drunk.. if I had penis I wouldn’t do creepy shit like that. WAS HE TRYING INTICE ME? JERK OFF? I don’t know what it’s like to have a dick, but it can’t be enjoyable to lightly tap it on a unaware, fully dressed person. I tried fidgeting and yawning so we would stop but he kept it up for 5 minutes. Seconds after he fell asleep I ran out the door and never, ever went to another party there.
I woke up at 8 am and although I had hoped the night before was just a bad dream.. it wasn’t. I spent the night fighting with my (ex) boyfriend and he was the last person I wanted to see. Unfortunately I was currently being suffocated by his huge biceps. Before I got the chance to wiggle out of bed he woke up. I quickly closed my eyes pretending to sleep and that’s when I felt his dick against my backside. He was hard and pressing himself against me. He wrapped his legs around my body and started to hump me. Although he wasn’t technically inside me it sounded like he was enjoying it. I’m not sure if he was trying to entice me or rub one out but holding in my laughter was the hardest part.