The People I Slept With.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRUE. Only names, dates and locations were changed to protect the fragile male ego.

Tag: sexuality

“IT DOESN’T FIT”

by ThePeopleISleptWith

I kneeled on all fours as he “made love” to me in the back of my Jeep parked next to a dumpster. This would have been fine if wasn’t using the jack-hammering technique, often used by first timers or high-school boyfriends.

“It doesn’t fit,” he said simultaneously lighting a cigarette and a joint. I had no idea what he was talking about.

“From behind it doesn’t fit, I can tell, you were fidgeting, a lot” he said proud of his allegedly massive penis. I explained that it was fine. “It was just to fast, it didn’t feel good.” He refused to believe me and went on to brag to his friends about how his penis would not fit inside me from behind.

It wasn’t the size… just the rapid jack-hammering motion of the ocean.

A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE

by ThePeopleISleptWith

After 8 months of traditional, vanilla sex I spoke to my boyfriend about spicing up our sex life, shortly after we moved to the bedroom. After a few minutes of missionary he forced me into “doggy style.”  He then put his hand on the back of my head and shoved my face into my pillow. I could barely turn my head to the side to breath. By “spicy” I meant dirty talk, butt slaps, maybe some hair pulling.. NOT suffocation. I gasped for air as he humped me aggressively. Was this some kind of punishment for calling our sex life vanilla? It’s really hard to orgasm when you see your life flashing before your eyes.

Image