The People I Slept With.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRUE. Only names, dates and locations were changed to protect the fragile male ego.

Tag: orgasm

WINNING

by ThePeopleISleptWith

We had been together for 4 months and for the first time in our relationship the sex lasted longer than two minutes. Although I was pleasantly surprised he was quite obviously annoyed. Sweat dripped off his forehead as he aggressively stabbed my insides with his penis. Not too long after he finished, looked at me and “I win.” ARE YOU ACTUALLY PROUD THAT YOU ARE UNABLE TO MAKE ME ORGASM? The first person to reach an orgasm doesn’t “win.” I don’t know if he was a moron or an asshole BUT I dated him for months and I lost every single time.

KEGEL EXERCISE

by ThePeopleISleptWith

Over a year ago I decided that 23 was an appropriate age to become a cougar.. I mean I was just getting a head start.  The first time I met him he caught my attention. I proceeded to flirt with him the only way I knew how, as well as my most successful way.. basically shouting “HE’S CUTE.” It wasn’t long before my friends warned me that acting on this crush would land me in jail…. he was 17.  I ran into him a year later and he asked me to hang out. For the first time I was glad I look like a High School senior. We grabbed some forties of Old English.. should have been my first sign… and went to a party. His confidence was a turn on. As soon as we were alone he ripped my clothes off and immediately attempted to insert himself inside of me. I was shocked when I felt absolutely nothing. Well my vagina is too big!  WHO DID THIS TO ME!? I started doing Kegel exercises as he hovered above me. Squeezing and letting go, over and over. I felt horrible…. until I looked down. He wasn’t even inside me. He continued moaning while poking me with his flaccid penis.  Relieved but turned off, I told him it wasn’t working.. to which he replied, ” Give me head then, I want to nut.” NUT!? I turned around and put my clothes on.

You can catch me doing Kegel’s every morning while I blow dry my hair… just incase.

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A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE

by ThePeopleISleptWith

After 8 months of traditional, vanilla sex I spoke to my boyfriend about spicing up our sex life, shortly after we moved to the bedroom. After a few minutes of missionary he forced me into “doggy style.”  He then put his hand on the back of my head and shoved my face into my pillow. I could barely turn my head to the side to breath. By “spicy” I meant dirty talk, butt slaps, maybe some hair pulling.. NOT suffocation. I gasped for air as he humped me aggressively. Was this some kind of punishment for calling our sex life vanilla? It’s really hard to orgasm when you see your life flashing before your eyes.

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