The People I Slept With.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRUE. Only names, dates and locations were changed to protect the fragile male ego.

Tag: naked

Forbidden Fruit

by ThePeopleISleptWith

My orthodox Jewish boyfriend took me on a date to the Museum of Natural History. Things were going great as we walked hand in hand admiring each exhibit. When we arrived at the dinosaur exhibit he dropped a bombshell on me. He told me that he did not believe in dinosaurs. Then went on for 20 minutes stating with utter certainty that fossils were planted by people to trick dumb people. I laughed it off praying he was just making a very bad joke.

A week later he came to my apartment, in an area of Brooklyn he most likely never stepped foot in. I spent the night prior scrubbing and reorganizing my apartment in order to create the illusion that I was a mature adult woman but my efforts went unnoticed. Plastic furniture, shark posters and dinosaur toys just aren’t for adults. He walked in and sat right on my bed, that laid on the floor without a box spring.

We started making out then he looked me in the eyes slowly removed his yamaka and made his way down my body. He started going down on me and I never felt so powerful. I looked at the yamaka upside down on my floor, back at him and smiled at the God I don’t believe in.

After we had sex as I laid in his arms he brought up dinosaurs again. My ceiling were covered in glow in the dark prehistoric creatures so I can see where the thought came from. Turns out he wasn’t joking he seriously didn’t believe in dinosaurs. I spent the night trying to prove him wrong.. unsuccessfully. I could get behind not pushing buttons on Saturday but no dinosaurs.. no way.

Our short relationship ended when I was unable to expand his mind and he was unable to close mine. There was no way I could continuing dating someone who doesn’t believe in dinosaurs.