The People I Slept With.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRUE. Only names, dates and locations were changed to protect the fragile male ego.

Tag: hooked up

NOT IN HERE

by ThePeopleISleptWith

He didn’t seem to mind that he was the only person who came during our 3 minute romp. I figured when I got up immediately to get dressed that he would take the hint and go home but he stayed in my bed. I left the room for a few minutes to drink some Gatorade and evaluate my life decisions. When I walked back into my bedroom he was still in bed, now lighting a cigarette from my secret pack nonetheless: I immediately yelled “NOT IN HERE!” Not only did he continue to light my cigarette but he didn’t apologize. Shocked, I told him to at least stand by the window. He moved to the window and I sat on my bed, fake texting, hoping that my lack of interest would make him feel uncomfortable and unwanted. Eventually I had to just tell him to leave because I had to wake up early….. I didn’t. But In the middle of gathering his belongings he looked at his phone and told me he was locked out of his apartment… Apparently he lent his key to his roommate who wouldn’t be home until tomorrow. Am I the only person in NYC he knew? Did he not have a friend whose place he could crash at? The disrespect made it was clear he wasn’t my friend. Unfortunately, because I MUST BE LIKED he spent the night. I got up at 8am, got dressed and ready for the job I didn’t have. I walked aimlessly in the opposite direction for ten minutes to make sure he was gone. When I got home I noticed three buds and cigarette ash all over my floor. I can’t understand how but he was shocked when I no longer wanted to see him.

INTERNET STALKING

by ThePeopleISleptWith

I’m over him, no longer interested.. and I’m not just saying that to convince myself. It’s been a while I’ve had new dick but I NEED to know what his new girlfriend looks like. I’m not proud of this but it’s not like I’m driving past his house (only once) or calling him then hanging up (twice), it’s just an innocent click away. We all have done it. You click on her page because what else do you have to do? I KNOW – Why would you waste time and energy unless you’re threatened by it? Maybe because it’s just that easy. PROBLEM: Her Facebook page is private and the only thing I can see is 4 profile pictures.

PICTURE 1: The “I love my friends” group picture of 6 girls. No one really stands out.

PICTURE 2: The “Bestie” with 2 out of the 6 girls. Okay narrowed it down it down to 2.

PICTURE 3: The “Weird abstract angle with dim lighting.” Her long curly black hair not only covers most of her face but doesn’t match the hair of either 2 girls. DAMN IT.

PICTURE 4: An inspirational meme. USELESS.

After a few minutes of studying the few facial features I could see in picture 3 and searching twitter and Instagram, I gave up. Maybe it was for the best, I could of easily accidentally liked a picture or favorited a tweet.