I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRUE. Only names, dates and locations were changed to protect the fragile male ego.
It was clear that he was beyond hammered when I picked him up from his co-workers party. We had been hanging out for a few weeks and this was the first time I saw him drunk. He could barely communicate with me, but insisted on making out with my tits at every red light.. whether there was a car next to us or not. I had planned to sleep at his house but when we got there he was out cold.
It was the first time I saw this overly confident/cocky guy completely helpless. I put his arm around my neck and attempted to escort him into his house, but he was all dead weight. I tried slapping him, blasting music, twisting his nipples.. nothing worked. There was no way I alone could get him out of my car, let alone into his house. After 30 minutes of trying to wake him up I gave up.
I wanted to sleep. I drove back to my house and since there was no way I was even going to attempt to bring him inside for my parents to see I left him in my car…. with the window open. I assumed he would wake up confused so I left a note on his chest with a White Castle receipt. ￼
One night after a really bad breakup I decided it would be a fabulous idea to split an entire bottle of Jack Daniels with a close male friend. Of course we were completely wasted and he decided to tell me that he had feelings for me. One thing led to another and before I knew it we were both naked. He had an uncircumcised penis.. It was different from what I was used to but I went along with it. We were having sex when all of the sudden he stopped mid stroke looked down and said, “Your bleeding.” I look down to see blood all over the mattress. I jumped out of the bed and ran into the bathroom thinking he may have moved my IUD.. which means I would have to get it surgically removed. While I was in the bathroom cleaning off the blood he barged in to tell me the blood actually came from him. I stood there in shock trying to understand HOW? With a smile on his face he wiggled his penis at me and blood flew everywhere. He told me that the extra skin had gotten pulled back too far and he started to bleed. Luckily he said it didn’t hurt. That wasn’t even the most horrific part, after the crisis we both went into the shower to finish and lets just say it ended with pink semen.