The People I Slept With.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRUE. Only names, dates and locations were changed to protect the fragile male ego.

Tag: funny sex story

SURPRISE!

by ThePeopleISleptWith

After a night of drinking my boyfriend and I went back to his apartment to have sex. After I came I went down on him. He was trying to tell me something but I couldn’t decode his slurred-drunken speech. He sounded like he was enjoying what I was doing so I didn’t want to stop to ask him what he said. Not long after he mumbled again, but this time is sounded like a question. I decided just to nod. What was I suppose to do take his dick out of my mouth and ask him to repeat himself!? A second later he pulled out and came all over my face. I stood there in shock, covered in his semen. Apparently he was asking me if he could cum on my face.

LESSON LEARNED: KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SAYING YES TO. 

EAT GREAT, EVEN LATE.

by ThePeopleISleptWith

The second he walked through the door it was on. He ripped and I literally mean ripped my clothes off. We moved to the living-room where he bent me over my couch and inserted himself inside me. Just as things were heating up he farted. No not a silent-but-deadly, or a quick fart. A long and loud fart. My initial reaction was to laugh but when he ignored it I knew making a joke of it was out of the question. As I continued to fight the urge to laugh, which became increasingly harder with every thrust, I smelt it. I spent the next minute or so trying to figure out what he had for dinner. I detected a hint of TacoBell. To avoid cracking up I was forced to cover my mouth with my hand and eventually shoved my face into my couch cushion.. I expected him to make a joke about after he finished, instead he acted like it never happen.. even though the smell still lingered.