The People I Slept With.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRUE. Only names, dates and locations were changed to protect the fragile male ego.

Tag: funny sex story

EAT GREAT, EVEN LATE.

by ThePeopleISleptWith

The second he walked through the door, it was on. He ripped -and I literally mean ripped- my clothes off. We moved to the living room where he bent me over my couch and inserted himself inside me. Just as things were heating up, he farted. No, not a silent-but-deadly or a quick fart. A long and loud fart. My initial reaction was to laugh but when he ignored it I knew making a joke of it was out of the question.

As I continued to fight the urge to laugh, which became increasingly harder with every thrust, I smelled it. I spent the next minute or so trying to figure out what he had for dinner. I detected a hint of TacoBell. To avoid cracking up I was forced to cover my mouth with my hand and eventually shoved my face into my couch cushion.. I expected him to make a joke about it after he finished— but instead he acted like it never happened, even though the smell still lingered.

SURPRISE!

by ThePeopleISleptWith

After a night of drinking my boyfriend and I went back to his apartment to hook up. While I was going on him he was trying to tell me something but I couldn’t decode his slurred-drunken speech. He sounded like he was enjoying what I was doing so I kept going.

Not long after he mumbled again, but this time is sounded like a question. I naively nodded …. I wasn’t about to take his dick out of my mouth and ask him to repeat himself. A second later he pulled out and came all over my face and hair. I stood there in shock, covered in semen. Apparently he was asking me if he could cum on my face.

LESSON LEARNED: KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SAYING YES TO.