I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRUE. Only names, dates and locations were changed to protect the fragile male ego.
The second he walked through the door, it was on. He ripped -and I literally mean ripped- my clothes off. We moved to the living room where he bent me over my couch and inserted himself inside me. Just as things were heating up, he farted. No, not a silent-but-deadly or a quick fart. A long and loud fart. My initial reaction was to laugh but when he ignored it I knew making a joke of it was out of the question.
As I continued to fight the urge to laugh, which became increasingly harder with every thrust, I smelled it. I spent the next minute or so trying to figure out what he had for dinner. I detected a hint of TacoBell. To avoid cracking up I was forced to cover my mouth with my hand and eventually shoved my face into my couch cushion.. I expected him to make a joke about it after he finished— but instead he acted like it never happened, even though the smell still lingered.
After a night of drinking my boyfriend and I went back to his apartment to hook up. While I was going on him he was trying to tell me something but I couldn’t decode his slurred-drunken speech. He sounded like he was enjoying what I was doing so I kept going.
Not long after he mumbled again, but this time is sounded like a question. I naively nodded …. I wasn’t about to take his dick out of my mouth and ask him to repeat himself. A second later he pulled out and came all over my face and hair. I stood there in shock, covered in semen. Apparently he was asking me if he could cum on my face.
This guy and I met in college. He was in pre-nursing, I was a psych major. We had class together every Tuesday and Thursday. I worked full-time in retail and he worked on campus as security. After some time in a class group together, we managed grab dinner and drinks. We’d often go to a local dive bar because those are the best. He was a nice guy and often witty. One night we found ourselves back on campus looking for a good spot to screw. We decided the practice football field would be perfect. It started raining so we stayed in the car. He was sitting in the passenger seat, I was straddling him. As my top came off I asked, “What if security finds us?” He replied in a deep, slow, sexy, sultry voice: “Baby, I am security”. We both cracked up and had the best time fucking in the parking lot.