The People I Slept With.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRU

Tag: flirting

DELETE ALL DRUNK SEXTS AND PRETEND THEY NEVER HAPPENED

by ThePeopleISleptWith

After a few drinks our casual conversation took a sharp turn. I promised myself I would never go back down that road, but he had quite a way with words…. that is if you consider “I’ll make sure you cum,” a way with words. He officially caught my attention. With every  Pickleback shot I took I sent an increasingly suggestive text. I went to bed giddy but woke up full of regret. What my drunk brain perceived as charming in the light of day was clearly cocky. “You love my penis,” – neither endearing nor true. Thanks to me his head grew 3 sizes that day. I had no choice but to delete all the drunk sexts and pretend they never happened.

drunk sext

MEDIOCRE

by ThePeopleISleptWith

For us bickering was foreplay. Was it our sarcastic nature, desire to disagree, or did we actually just hate each-other? Regardless, we certainly liked having sex.  If you over heard or read our conversations you would think we were both conceited assholes. I never called him “Babe” just “Idiot” or  “Jerk.” No conversation ever started with “Hey,” they started with ” F U,” or “Shut up.”  Instead of simply saying what he wanted he argued that I wanted it more, even when he started the conversation..  I guess he must of had the ability to read my mind. I can’t explain why but I liked being told what I wanted…. strictly in the bedroom that is. Although we constantly insulted and made fun of each-other… the sex was certainly no joke.

The antagonizing even continued the second it was over. He would always ask me how it was and regardless of how good it was I would respond “eh mediocre.”

sex

SEXUAL HEALING

by ThePeopleISleptWith

The second he walked into the bar I wanted him. Thanks to my awkward “flirting,” the only thing I knew about him when I left was his first name and a few people he hung out with. I immediately searched for him on Facebook – 30min later I found him. It was way too soon to add him, especially since we had only two mutual friends, so I went to bed. I woke up to a friend request… ehhhh. OK I spent 30 min searching for him but I didn’t request to be his friend. I was no longer interested – crazy, I know…

A month later, after starring at a picture of his perfect face, I changed my mind. We made plans to meet at a bar. It was my first “date” in a year so I consumed two beers and took two shots before he arrived. The “date” started out fine, he was as handsome as I remembered and kind. After an hour he suggested we go to a Karaoke Bar. A Karaoke Bar to me means singing “Chicken Fried” obnoxiously or rapping a Missy Elliot song – obviously as a joke. We put in our song requests and continued drinking. When his turn came up I asked him what he was going to sing. I thought he said “Sexual Seduction,” by Snoop Dog.. which would have been hilarious BUT I heard wrong… He got up on stage and seriously sang “Sexual Healing,” by Marvin Gaye. WAS HE TRYING TO SEDUCE ME!? WAS HE HINTING THAT HE WANTED TO HEAL ME SEXUALLY!? MAKE ME FEEL SO FINE? HELP RELIEVE MY MIND? He starred deep into my eyes the entire time, as I fidgeted in my chair trying my best not to cringe. Although the “date” ended for me right there I tried to enjoy the night so I kept drinking. As I got up to sing he moved his hand from my shoulder and GRABBED my butt. NO he didn’t graze it.. he grabbed it, I felt violated. Of course I turned my cheek when he tried to kiss me Goodbye.

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