The People I Slept With.


Tag: embarressing


by ThePeopleISleptWith

One day I came across an article about the different ways one can shave their pubic hair. Intrigued and bored I decided to try “The Martini Glass.” I’m not exactly the most artistic person, in-fact I’m awful but I tried my best. I was proud that it at least resembled a martini glass but it was far from perfect. I kept trying to even if out but I just kept making things worse. Eventually I forgot about my short-lived career as a pubic hair stylist and went about my day. That night I unexpectedly ran into my friend with benefits. I completely forgot about the deformed martini glass until he took off my underwear. Too late to do anything about it I decided to own it and play it off as a joke. He stared at it for a few seconds then laughed. I’m still unsure if he was laughing with me or at me.161918_217877070637_5073933_n


by ThePeopleISleptWith

After a year of dating I decided to try anal sex with my boyfriend. Even though I read a few unforgettable horror stories I also knew some women who really enjoyed it, so why not? I prepared for it like a research paper, reading blogs and finding the best lubricant. It went surprisingly well and I woke up the next morning feeling happy and satisfied, aside from the slight discomfort and cramping. Before I got the chance to share the juicy story with my female co-workers I was rushed off to morning meeting. We sat around a square table in the conference room discussing our goals for the day when the trapped air from the night before released without warning. In other words I farted, a few of my co-workers knew exactly why and couldn’t help but giggle. Air is pushed into the area by the in and out motion….  the air had to go somewhere, it’s anatomy. Your body simply needs to return to its unexpanded state… I just wish it could of happened at a better time.

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bad timing


by ThePeopleISleptWith

Thanks to some horrible hair extensions I spent six months wearing a wig… a very traumatic experience for a 20 year old girl. It wasn’t exactly a secret.. since I would get drunk, take it off and make my male friends try it on… but the guy I was involved with at the time had no idea. Sitting in his car after a party, waiting for him to make a move, I tried to find the right way to tell him. Unfortunately before I could get the words out he kissed me. In the heat of the moment I forgot about my hair troubles and climbed into the back seat with him. When he tried to run his fingers through my hair I dodged him, when he grabbed my neck I aggressively moved his hands to my boobs… but eventually the inevitable happened. Right after he entered me he ripped off my shirt and with it… THE WIG. I franticly tried to put it back on as quickly and smoothly as possible. Once it was on straight I looked up to see him staring at me in shock. I explained to him what happened and of course we continued BUT I spent the entire time holding my wig on top of my head.



by ThePeopleISleptWith

My contacts were stuck to my eyes. I could feel his beer breath on the back of my neck. I had underwear and a wife beater on… but no bra. His hands moved slowly from my waist to my ass and it hit me… did I sleep with him? The night prior was a blur. It wasn’t until I saw the finished bottle of Jagermeister on the night stand, next to the White Castle bag, that I realized.. I probably did. Combining alcohol with heartbreak always seems like a good idea, until you end up in someone else’s bed. He sat up, afraid I hid most of my face underneath the covers, as if that would make him go away. I felt a warm kiss on my forehead then he left the room. I should of asked him what happened but I’m not sure I wanted to know. My eyes searched his room for any evidence.. nothing. I got dressed quickly and walked out of his room. Disheveled and disoriented I walked right into the living room where four of his friends were hanging out. After 10 of the most awkward seconds of my life he followed me to the door. ” I had fun,” he said but before he could lean in for a kiss I gave him a high-five. I guess I’ll never know.

scared in bed


by ThePeopleISleptWith

When I opened my eyes his hand was firmly cupping my left boob.. under the shirt, over the bra. I turned onto my stomach freeing my breast. I couldn’t hold my pee any longer so I turned around and sat up…. There he was laying on his side, leaning on his arm starring at me. Our eyes met and he smiled. I attempted to smile back but I doubt it was convincing. I told him I needed to pee and go home. He sighed and said ” But you said you were off tomorrow. ” and damn it, I did say that. I told him I still had things to do and just needed to go home. He continued to question every aspect of my story. Truth is my story was bullshit… Obviously bullshit. Yeah, I am lying and you know… Let’s avoid the awkward banter and just let me go. Do you really want me to say the truth… “you’re creeping me out, why are you laying like that? Your apartment is too hot, your bed in uncomfortable, it smells funny in here and you are cuddle groping me.” I’m just trying to be polite. When I walked out he told me he would call me later… another polite lie.