The People I Slept With.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRU

Tag: embarrassing

MY BAD

by ThePeopleISleptWith

When my husband and I first had sex (I was a virgin) and we of course used protection. We were engaged, not married at the time, but I knew I was going to marry this man, and we would be forever. We didn’t want children yet at the time, so he puts on the condom, and we go at it. Besides the pain it was a good first experience. He knew what he was doing, and he was gentle. Everything was amazing. However, the after story is where it goes bad…  I start to burn and itch, BAD. I call him up and start freaking out! ‘I don’t know what those bitches gave you, but you had better NOT have given it to me!’ He told me I was losing it, but he would get checked, and I went to get checked. We were military, so we got checked once every 6 months or so. However some STD’s don’t pop up until it’s too late, and that’s what scared me. Well his check went fine, he was clean. My check went fine, I was clean. The doctor then asked me the question that made my day go from hopeful to bottom line embarrassing. “Did you use a latex condom?” “Yes”  they did a test, and it came up that I was allergic to Latex. I made my husband think he had an STD, because of a stupid latex allergy. My first time, will never EVER be forgotten.

SUBMITTED BY: spreadincrazysmiles

VOMIT, SWEAT AND TEARS

by ThePeopleISleptWith

He was the last person I expected to show up to my friends party. I told myself I wouldn’t even give him the time of the day.. but I should of known I’d give him more than that. I hoped to at least make him beg for it, but it only took 6 seconds of eye contact before I let him kiss me.. Thank you Tequila. Not long after we went out to his car to “talk.” As he ripped my clothes are off I couldn’t help but worry that being completely naked wasn’t the best idea. I could see my friends in the distance smoking on the porch. A few minutes later our clothes were fully off and the windows were all fogged up BUT nothing was happening. I was personally offended that he couldn’t get hard until he started to vomit. He quickly opened the car door, the interior light turned on and he threw up. I searched for my clothes in order to avoid further embarrassment, but they were under his feet. I wanted to help him but not as much as I didn’t want my friends too see my boobs, so I pushed him aside and got dressed. There was no time for underwear so I stuck my panties in my pocket. Now there is nothing attractive about a penis to begin with, especially a flaccid penis.. but add vomit, sweat and teary eyes..not the best sight. Fifteen frustrating minutes later we returned to the party, I’ll never forget the disgusted look of disapproval on my friend’s faces.

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STOP INTERRUPTING

by ThePeopleISleptWith

Unfortunately there are limited comfortable ways to have sex in a small car. You can sit on top of him, if you want to hit your head on the ceiling. You can do it missionary, if you want to slam your head on the side door… The obvious fog, leather seats and risk of getting caught doesn’t exactly help.

I try to avoid car sex but there are limited options when your drunk and stranded. The seat belt was making an indent on my lower back and I felt a bump forming on my head. I had to say , “Let’s switch positions.” “Stop interrupting,” he said. I didn’t think I was interrupting.. I thought I was communicating. Eventually we were actually interrupted by my friend beeping his car horn next to us. I sat up quickly, exposing my chest to five male teenagers standing next to my car. The bump on my head was no longer the problem.

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GRANNY PANTIES

by ThePeopleISleptWith

I knew he would be at my friends party and unfortunately I knew I wouldn’t be able to control myself around him. BUT I had a plan, I didn’t shave my legs and purposely wore granny panties.. that way no matter what he said or how I felt I wouldn’t hook up with him. Four margaritas later I regretted that decision. I should of known there was no possible way to avoid forgiving him the second he looked into my eyes. I have to admire him for it, it’s a talent. I searched my friends bathroom for a razor and stupidly dry shaved my legs as fast as I could. One problem solved but I was still wearing granny panties.. to make matters worse it was Friday and they said Monday on the butt. Pink and green oversized, unflattering, (wrong) day of the week granny panties. I went back to his house anyway. As he kissed me all I could think about was how embarrassed I was going to be when he saw my panties BUT he ripped my clothes off too fast to notice, RELIEF. We finished and he went to the bathroom. I got dressed quickly but couldn’t find my underwear. His room was a mess, stuff all over the floor. I quickly put my leggings on. He kissed me romantically as my eyes continued to search the room. Just when I was about to give up and never speak to him again I found them by the door. I quickly shoved them into my purse. The moment I arrived home I threw them in the trash along with all the other granny panties I owned.

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