The People I Slept With.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRUE. Only names, dates and locations were changed to protect the fragile male ego.

Tag: embarrassing

Tall Cans and Hibachi

by ThePeopleISleptWith

Directly after consuming three 24 oz’s of Coors Light I pulled my boyfriend into his bedroom. I don’t know if it was the expensive Hibachi dinner we had earlier or the tall cans I basically shot gunned but all I wanted to do was go down on him. Out of nowhere a few minutes in I felt slightly queasy. I tried to ignore it but it wasn’t long before I felt that all to familiar, uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that never ends well. My immediate reaction was to run into the bathroom but I could tell he was really close. I wasn’t about to walk away now.. .all that work for nothing, no way. I had a job to finish. I knew he was only seconds away. I kept going. Each second he was closer to cumming and I was closer to vomiting privately in the comfort of the bathroom. Just as I saw the light at the end of this nauseating tunnel I lost control. He came as I waited for him to notice the small amount of regurgitated Hibachi on his dick. Luckily for me he had no idea.. that or he’s pretending that it never happened, either way lesson learned. 

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STOP INTERRUPTING

by ThePeopleISleptWith

Unfortunately there are limited comfortable ways to have sex in a small car. You can sit on top of him, if you want to hit your head on the ceiling. You can do it missionary, if you want to slam your head on the side door… The obvious fog, leather seats and risk of getting caught doesn’t exactly help.

I try to avoid car sex but there are limited options when your drunk and stranded. The seat belt was making an indent on my lower back and I felt a bump forming on my head. I had to say , “Let’s switch positions.” “Stop interrupting,” he said. I didn’t think I was interrupting.. I thought I was communicating. Eventually we were actually interrupted by my friend beeping his car horn next to us. I sat up quickly, exposing my chest to five male teenagers standing next to my car. The bump on my head was no longer the problem.


PERIOD PANTIES

by ThePeopleISleptWith

I knew he would be at my friends party and unfortunately I knew I wouldn’t be able to control myself around him. BUT I had a plan, I didn’t shave my legs and purposely wore period panties.. that way no matter what he said or how I felt I wouldn’t hook up with him. Four margaritas later I regretted that decision. I should of known there was no possible way to avoid forgiving him the second he looked into my eyes. I have to admire him for it, it’s a talent. I searched my friends bathroom for a razor and stupidly dry shaved my legs as fast as I could. One problem solved but I was still wearing period panties. I went back to his house anyway. As he kissed me all I could think about was how embarrassed I was going to be when he saw what was underneath BUT he ripped my clothes off too fast to notice, RELIEF. We finished and he went to the bathroom. I got dressed quickly but couldn’t find my underwear. His room was a mess, stuff all over the floor. I quickly put my leggings on. He kissed me romantically as my eyes continued to search the room. Just when I was about to give up and never speak to him again I found them by the door. I quickly shoved them into my purse. The moment I arrived home I threw them in the trash.