The People I Slept With.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRUE. Only names, dates and locations were changed to protect the fragile male ego.

Tag: date

8 REASONS I SHOULDN’T HAVE SLEPT WITH HIM

by ThePeopleISleptWith

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1) He tipped in change. 50 cents to be exact.

2) He said “he already ate” when I mentioned being hungry.

3) He suggested a threesome with a friend I saw at the bar… four times.

4) When the bartender handed me the wrong drink he said, ” She’ll just drink that.”

5) He only complimented my butt.

6) He ordered the exact amount of beers that I said would get me drunk.

7) He wore the wrong size condom.

8) He asked me if I came. If you have to ask the answer is no.

—-> Instagram

SEX, DRUGS, THEN PLEASE LEAVE.

by ThePeopleISleptWith

“Want to see my Beat Laboratory?”

…You had me at the Step Brothers reference. I followed you in giving you my usual rant about not being a relationship person – See it’s best to sabotage any chance for feelings ASAP. This way you’ll never even have to know if they liked you enough to date you. It’s all about creating the illusion that you’re control while you spend your nights drinking alone.

Maybe it was your Bob Dylan impression, LOST obsession, cute butt, the free weed or genuine love for Twisted Tea but we fucked on your unmade bed. Then again at my place. During the second time around you came in my mouth and I grabbed a glass of lemon water I had sitting on my nightstand. It wasn’t until I took a large gulp that I realized the lemon in the water had rotted. I was now drinking one of my infamous science experiments.

{ Lemon + Water + Leave for 2+ days } I swallowed.

After, you got dressed you told me you weren’t looking for anything serious. I paused. Just what you want to hear before you’ve fully digested someone’s cum. The taste still lingered in my mouth. You left. I got high on your weed and deleted your number.

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