The People I Slept With.


Tag: butt


by ThePeopleISleptWith

I kneeled on all fours as he “made love” to me like an animal. This would have been fine if he wasn’t humping me as fast a dog would hump a leg. Although hard and fast sex could be exciting and enjoyable this was not one of those times – parked behind abandoned store in the middle of the day..  it could not have been less sexy. As we drove away he looked at me and said, “It doesn’t fit.” I had no idea what he was talking about. “When I fuck you from behind it doesn’t fit, I can tell, you were fidgeting,” he said proud of his apparently HUGE penis. I explained to him that it was fine, it just didn’t feel good that fast at that moment. Of course he refused to believe me and went on to brag to his friends about how his penis would not fit inside me from behind. The problem was not the size of the wave at all… just the rapid jack-hammering motion of the ocean.

the sweetest thing


by ThePeopleISleptWith

After a year of dating I decided to try anal sex with my boyfriend. Even though I read a few unforgettable horror stories I also knew some women who really enjoyed it, so why not? I prepared for it like a research paper, reading blogs and finding the best lubricant. It went surprisingly well and I woke up the next morning feeling happy and satisfied, aside from the slight discomfort and cramping. Before I got the chance to share the juicy story with my female co-workers I was rushed off to morning meeting. We sat around a square table in the conference room discussing our goals for the day when the trapped air from the night before released without warning. In other words I farted, a few of my co-workers knew exactly why and couldn’t help but giggle. Air is pushed into the area by the in and out motion….  the air had to go somewhere, it’s anatomy. Your body simply needs to return to its unexpanded state… I just wish it could of happened at a better time.

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bad timing


by ThePeopleISleptWith

After 8 months of traditional, vanilla sex I spoke to my boyfriend about spicing up our sex life, shortly after we moved to the bedroom. After a few minutes of missionary he forced me into “doggy style.”  He then put his hand on the back of my head and shoved my face into my pillow. I could barely turn my head to the side to breath. By “spicy” I meant dirty talk, butt slaps, maybe some hair pulling.. NOT suffocation. I gasped for air as he humped me aggressively. Was this some kind of punishment for calling our sex life vanilla? It’s really hard to orgasm when you see your life flashing before your eyes.



by ThePeopleISleptWith

I laid on my back as he went down on me and out of nowhere … he went down further…. Uhhhh did he seriously lick my butt-hole!? It happened so quickly.. maybe it was an accident. We had only had sex a few times. Pretty ballsy move to make this early. He moved back up and just as I started to relax it happened again… This time he stuck his tongue inside. My body froze, my eyes opened wide and I couldn’t help but yell “UMMM!” I debated the possibility of letting him continue .. it was for my pleasure but I just couldn’t relax. I am a VERY clean person but that area is not safe. To each is own but I don’t personally want a tongue inside that area. It’s simply unsanitary.



by ThePeopleISleptWith

The second he walked into the bar I wanted him. Thanks to my awkward “flirting,” the only thing I knew about him when I left was his first name and a few people he hung out with. I immediately searched for him on Facebook – 30min later I found him. It was way too soon to add him, especially since we had only two mutual friends, so I went to bed. I woke up to a friend request… ehhhh. OK I spent 30 min searching for him but I didn’t request to be his friend. I was no longer interested – crazy, I know…

A month later, after starring at a picture of his perfect face, I changed my mind. We made plans to meet at a bar. It was my first “date” in a year so I consumed two beers and took two shots before he arrived. The “date” started out fine, he was as handsome as I remembered and kind. After an hour he suggested we go to a Karaoke Bar. A Karaoke Bar to me means singing “Chicken Fried” obnoxiously or rapping a Missy Elliot song – obviously as a joke. We put in our song requests and continued drinking. When his turn came up I asked him what he was going to sing. I thought he said “Sexual Seduction,” by Snoop Dog.. which would have been hilarious BUT I heard wrong… He got up on stage and seriously sang “Sexual Healing,” by Marvin Gaye. WAS HE TRYING TO SEDUCE ME!? WAS HE HINTING THAT HE WANTED TO HEAL ME SEXUALLY!? MAKE ME FEEL SO FINE? HELP RELIEVE MY MIND? He starred deep into my eyes the entire time, as I fidgeted in my chair trying my best not to cringe. Although the “date” ended for me right there I tried to enjoy the night so I kept drinking. As I got up to sing he moved his hand from my shoulder and GRABBED my butt. NO he didn’t graze it.. he grabbed it, I felt violated. Of course I turned my cheek when he tried to kiss me Goodbye.



by ThePeopleISleptWith

I woke up at 8 am and although I had hoped the night before was just a bad dream.. it wasn’t. I spent the night fighting with my (ex) boyfriend and he was the last person I wanted to see. Unfortunately I was currently being suffocated by his huge biceps. Before I got the chance to wiggle out of bed he woke up. I quickly closed my eyes pretending to sleep and that’s when I felt his dick against my backside. He was hard and pressing himself against me. He wrapped his legs around my body and started to hump me. Although he wasn’t technically inside me it sounded like he was enjoying it. I’m not sure if he was trying to entice me or rub one out but holding in my laughter was the hardest part.