The People I Slept With.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO BUT MOSTLY THANK THE GUYS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED WITH BECAUSE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE TRU

Category: ONE NIGHT STAND SEX

8 REASONS I SHOULDN’T OF SLEPT WITH HIM

by ThePeopleISleptWith

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1) He tipped in change, 50 cents to be exact.

2) He told me he already ate when I said I was hungry.

3) He sarcastically suggested a threesome 4 times. Joking or not, one time was more than enough.

4) When the bartender handed me the wrong drink he said, ” She’ll just drink that.” Oh, okay.

5) The nicest thing he said about me was that I had a nice butt.

6) He ordered the exact amount of beers that I said would get me drunk.

7) He clearly does not know the difference between confident man and conceited asshole.

8) He asked me if I came. If you have to ask the answer is no.

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Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ral

by ThePeopleISleptWith

We spent the majority of the afternoon making awkward eye contact from across the bar. After my fifth shot of Jameson he approached me. The second I heard his Irish accident I decided I was going to take him home. Nothing was going to get in my way. About an hour and half later we were stumbling into my apartment. One problem.. it was only 7pm and my roommate and her boyfriend were eating dinner in the living room. I went straight to the bathroom, quickly brushed my teeth and reapplied deodorant. I walked out feeling confident (AKA: drunk) and pulled him into my room in the middle of his conversation with my roommate. I don’t remember much but from what I was told we were pretty loud. My roommate and her boyfriend may have learned a little too much about me that evening and she’ll never let me live it down.

THE OH SHIT LIST

by ThePeopleISleptWith

One Sunday afternoon I found myself in an all too familiar situation… I was on a date and I had no idea. A friend of mine asked me if I wanted to grab a bite, so I met him downtown. A turkey sandwich and three beers later the check came. He grabbed the check quickly and refused to let me pay for my meal and drinks. I know most men thinks it’s the polite thing to do and it is on a first date BUT to my knowledge this wasn’t a date. I couldn’t help but feel obligated to grab a drink with him. A drink turned into several drinks and before I knew it he was inviting me back to his place to “watch a movie.” AlI I wanted was to go home and binge watch Seinfeld until I passed out… but the 40 minute drunk subway ride back to my apartment wasn’t very appealing. One minute I was falling asleep on his couch the next minute we were making out. It’s safe to say it was the alcohol that decided it would be a good idea sleep with him. When I woke up all I could think was OH SHIT. I got dressed while he sat on his bed texting. He looked up at me and said, “I’m not looking for a serious relationship.” WHEN DID I SAY I WAS!? Did he really think a drunk hookup was my way of starting a committed long term relationship? No. I thought we were just grabbing a bite. I left and quickly added him to my list of drunken mistakes.. aka The Oh Shit list. eccb81abf2_tumblr-mltkax8Q071rkiuhro1-400

SLAP ME

by ThePeopleISleptWith

I met this girl on an online dating site.  She was witty and cute. Problem was she lived 96 miles away from me. After a couple weeks of chatting and Skype dates, I decided to jump on a bus and take her out on a little weekend date. She was waiting for me at my hotel bar. I casually sat next to her and ordered a vodka martini. We smiled at each other. You could slice the sexual tension with a butter knife. Surprisingly, we made it out to dinner and drinks.  Stumbling back to the hotel, I came to the realization that we were either gonna have sloppy or incredible drunken sex. I swiped my room key, and pushed her onto the kingsize bed.  She gave me a submissively seductive smile. Perfect, I thought to myself because she was petite and I couldn’t wait to turn her inside out. I don’t remember all the details, but what is crystal clear in my mind is how the sex session finished. She was on her back moaning increasingly louder and when she was about to climax, she screamed “Slap Me!!”. She had just pronounced the magic words.  I winded up, and slapped her across the face.  I was like the Red Sea had parted and I could see the promise land, the little dirty expression on her face aka her O face. She loved it. I got such a rush from dominating her. I have control issue. Maybe she felt comfortable going there with me because she knew this was just a weekend affair. Or she felt safe in my hands because I always balance my rough touch with a soft caress – that’s key.

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– Submitted by: REALLEE ME

For more on sex, relationships and dating check out Realleeme.com – a collection of antisocial posts.

THE PERSON I THINK I SLEPT WITH

by ThePeopleISleptWith

My contacts were stuck to my eyes. I could feel his beer breath on the back of my neck. I had underwear and a wife beater on… but no bra. His hands moved slowly from my waist to my ass and it hit me… did I sleep with him? The night prior was a blur. It wasn’t until I saw the finished bottle of Jagermeister on the night stand, next to the White Castle bag, that I realized.. I probably did. Combining alcohol with heartbreak always seems like a good idea, until you end up in someone else’s bed. He sat up, afraid I hid most of my face underneath the covers, as if that would make him go away. I felt a warm kiss on my forehead then he left the room. I should of asked him what happened but I’m not sure I wanted to know. My eyes searched his room for any evidence.. nothing. I got dressed quickly and walked out of his room. Disheveled and disoriented I walked right into the living room where four of his friends were hanging out. After 10 of the most awkward seconds of my life he followed me to the door. ” I had fun,” he said but before he could lean in for a kiss I gave him a high-five. I guess I’ll never know.

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