That’s What She Said

by ThePeopleISleptWith

Five months ago he didn’t respond to a text I sent so I blocked his number. But now I’m lonely, horny and the only hot guy I met on Tinder tried to buy me a butt plug before our first date. So I texted him asking to buy some weed- which was ridiculous because his weed sucked and he charged too much…. Yes, I was willing to pay $50.00 to possibly get laid.

He came over and immediately started playing the Office them song on my roommates piano.

“Do you want to make out?” He asked. I sat there pretending to contemplate the decision as if it wasn’t my plan all along. We started making out and then he reached down my pants.

” I have my period,” I warned him. I didn’t think he would stop but he did. DON’T JUST GIVE HIM HEAD I told myself as he clearly motioned for me to suck his dick. So I let him put it in my butt and spent the remainder of the night chain smoking cigarettes trying to figure out why I am so bad at life. He ghosted me and I basically paid him to stick it in my ass.. great.