SWEAT, TEARS AND VOMIT
by ThePeopleISleptWith
It was Thanksgiving Eve I was on my fifth game of beer pong when a boy I had been having casual sex with over the summer walked through the door. Our “relationship” fizzled out when he left for college and after four unanswered texts I had given up on him and clearly my dignity. I had planned to leave the party and met up with some dude who sent me a series of unsolicited but impressive dick pictures the night prior. But there is was… hand full of whisky, belly full of pills, looking real good. He looked directly at me and I knew that moment I wasn’t going anywhere besides his car in the parking lot.
Two shots of Vodka later we were outside alone. He didn’t say anything. He just kissed me. And before I knew it we were ripping off each-others clothes in the back of his Jetta with our friends smoking cigarettes barely six feat away.
I began going down on him when i heard his stomach rumble. He started to dry heave, opened the car door -turning on the interior lights and threw up. Half on the street, half on the car. Our friends stared blankly with a perfect view of our naked bodies. I wanted to comfort him but not as much as I wanted to hide. He was sitting on top my clothing crying so I tried rubbing his shoulder to console him as I yanked my clothing out from underneath him and ran inside.
“He has a girlfriend at college. Did you know that?” A friend asked as he passed me a joint only moments after my run of shame. I took a hit but on the inside I was screaming. I exhaled.
“No, I obviously I did not know that.” I zoned out, starring at the Christmas lights prematurely hung on the wall. He texted me that he made it home safe and planned to “make it up,” to me… I planned to punch him in the face.
ew! I mean, I’m sorry! The penis in the face is ALWAYS a sure hint that it’s going to be a good time…
What was the 90 seconds of torture? The time you sent staring at his limp dick? or is that how long it takes to blow him?
😂😂😂😂😂lmfao
Im serious! That was a serious question haha
LOL 90 seconds of sex!
Sick! 😣
There’s nothing like a dangled-face-penis to get me in the mood for 1.5 minutes…
Hey there! I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger award, I have liked what I read and hopefully others will too. Here are the rules: http://versatilebloggeraward.wordpress.com/vba-rules
90 seconds? Is the guy 16?
sadly, no
Reblogged this on Where Did Fun Go and commented:
Hilarious and true. Follow this blogger, you guys. Great stuff!
Kudos on your blog! As a guy with sex constantly on his mind (like most guys), its refreshing to read someone being so candid. Life, including sex, can have hilarious moments and I enjoy reading the ones you post.