Kegel’s and Tequila
Shortly after turning 23 I forced my college roommate to join me on a five hour road-trip to party with some friends…. and not at all to hook up with a professional skateboarder who had just turned 18. I had met him back a few years ago when I would have ended up in jail for acting on my crush. In my defense our mutual friends were my age and he was kind-of famous. So yes I, a 23 year old sort-of professional woman crossed state lines for dick.
After the party we went back to his mom’s house. A few unnecessary Tequila shots later we made our way to his waterbed. I had played the scenario out several times in my head the weeks prior but surprise, surprise things were not going as planned. He seemed to be enjoying himself but I felt nothing. A wave of panic consumed me. I can’t feel him inside me, how big is my vagina? I started doing kegel exercises underneath him frustrated with my apparently huge vagina.
Just as I had accepted my fate I looked down and noticed something odd. He was not inside me. His body was just laying on top of me, dick just kinda flapping over my stomach like a fish out of water. Relief.
“You’re not inside me,” I said politely tapping his shoulder.
” Can I at least nut?” he slurred, eyes glazed over. I got right out of bed and spent the night in the bathroom tub.
Fast forward seven years. I’m a 30 year old professional woman who sleeps with men her own age. Out of curiosity while telling my co workers about my traumatic experience as a cougar I looked him up. First thing that showed up on goggle was his date of birth. 10/20/1995. He had just turned 17 not 18. I quickly looked up the age of consent for the state we were in and to my relief I’m not technically a felon.