ALWAYS HAVE CAB MONEY
by ThePeopleISleptWith
Growing up in the Suburbs I am use to the “walk of shame” consisting of :
1) Strutting from his door to my car as quick as possible.
2) Driving home comfortably singing ballads in my car. Maybe even Taco-Bell.
3) Quietly sneaking into my house with sex hair avoiding my parents.
Thanks to my low income job and my asshole date I didn’t have the luxury of a car/cab during my first walk of shame in NYC. I immediately regretted the decision to spend the night when I woke up in a un-air conditioned room being cuddled to death. I fixed myself up the best I could. I walked out onto 66th and 5th with a my outfit from the previous night, messy hair, bad breath and smudged mascara. After wasting 10 minutes walking in the wrong direction I eventually found the subway. My train was delayed. I waited over a half hour, it really helped with the smell. When the train finally came as the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme song played in my head I sat right next to my Professor. Whose class I had later that day. I tried to avoid eye contact but eventually he asked, “rough night?” Almost two hours after leaving I finally arrived home after receiving one last dirty look from my doorman.
LESSON LEARNED: ALWAYS HAVE CAB MONEY
Cool read.
“3) Quietly sneaking into my house with sex hair trying to avoid my parents.”
I really LOL’ed because I could so relate! Not just sex hair but sex makeup: worn off foundation, bleeding eyeliner/mascara, etc. ha.
Omg hahaha that’s amazing tho. I live for moments like that. My former boss honked at me (in his porsche) and waved when I was doing the walk of shame to the health clinic to get tested in Chelsea hahaha.
This had me laughing in remembrance of a gloriously misspent youth. Thanks!
Once, during just such a stroll, I had on the shortest black dress, (but not tight or form-fitting) had not worn panties the night before, and it was a windy morning… and YOU guessed it!
A gust of wind blew my dress up and a gathering of a few old men got a glimpse of the goodies! Thank goodness none of them had a heart attack!