” Let’s have a threesome?,” he said as I sipped my beer. I have to assume I uncontrollably rolled my eyes. ” Me, you and ( let’s call him ) Tom. ” ..Okay he caught my attention. Tom was the last name I expected to come out of his mouth, actually any male name would have been just as shocking. I have to admit later that night I did contemplate the idea. He wasn’t my boyfriend… this was just about sex… but did I really want to? How would it even work!? As I day dreamed about the perfect threesome scenario, involving Eric Andre of course, I couldn’t help but wonder if I really wanted that. Two penis’ entering me, seems aggressive.
A week and five beers later I found myself in his bedroom. He started by kissing my neck and slowly made his way downstairs. “I can’t wait to share you,” he whispered. IGNORE IT, IGNORE IT. I fought the urge to stop him, he was about to go down on me.. I’m only human. I spent the entire time he was inside me praying that he wouldn’t bring it up again.. unfortunately he did. I looked away as he described to me how it would work. Let’s just say it sounded pretty painful. Even if I hadn’t already decided not to.. my answer was definitely no now. Maybe I’m alone here but… one penis is enough.